With countless concerns lately about the privacy of Facebook, and now Google Buzz, I have to wonder: Is there really any expectation of privacy online? Personally, I don’t think so. At least not anymore. Social media has evolved to the point where it’s impossible to maintain any type of anonymity if you write anything online.

Having been a victim of words I’ve written online being used against me, I now know that if I write something online, I should be comfortable with anyone reading it, from my first grade teacher and my mother to my ex-boyfriend or my son, with everyone in between. In other words, if you’re going to complain about a co-worker or a family member, I can guarantee you that if they don’t read it themselves, eventually someone you know will read it and pass along that tidbit.

If I send someone an email, I have no assumption that they will keep it confidential and not forward it to someone else, cut and paste part of it or even publish it online. Therefore, why do people think that anything they write online should be private?

Words are hurtful. I don’t believe in the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That’s just not true. I occasionally forget that, myself. In fact, when I first started blogging, I’ve mentioned many times that I was careless and have numerous stories of my words written online coming back to haunt me. I thought I was anonymous and no one in my personal life even knew my blog existed. My son was on a local soccer team and I was one of the team mothers. Another mother on the team was really loud and would stand on the sidelines cheering for the kids, singing songs and running alongside the kids while they played, many times drowning out the coach. She was a distraction and very annoying. All the parents agreed. I wrote about her, making fun of her and that post got a lot of laughs. Guess who read it and brought it up at the next parent meeting? Guess whose blog URL was passed around to all the soccer parents? Was that really the way the team mother should behave? Not really. But how was my post any different from all the other mothers sitting around in person and laughing about her and her overhearing us?

I do understand that people do not want their email addresses published, or their personal information shared without their consent.  However, do you remember phone books? What about real estate transactions? A lot of parents have no problem with pictures of their children being published in the newspaper, or even used in a photographer’s portfolio, yet some parents draw the line at publishing photos of their children online.

I worked in the legal profession for nearly 15 years doing a lot of different kinds of research. I have performed extensive background checks on people and organized background information on many people for various reasons. Even if I found information about someone by searching for them online, I used other means to verify the information. I guarantee you that if you gave me your name and the city in which you live, I could find more information about you outside of social media than by using it.

One of the things recently being complained about was an example of someone who used one email address to email people anonymously and another email address for personal reasons, with the concern being those contacts would show up publicly because one address was forwarded to the other. (I’m not going to link it here.)  As someone who has been through this experience personally, DO NOT FORWARD ONE EMAIL ADDRESS TO ANOTHER. After my custody trial, I created a separate email address to communicate with my son’s father and stepmother, the school, and the court therapist. I logged into that account separately and sent email directly from that account. I never forwarded that email address anywhere and I never downloaded it into another email client. Was that a hassle? Of course. But that was the only way I was 100% sure that those people only had one email address to contact me and that I did not make a mistake when I was in a rush. If that was still going on in my personal life, I would not have any social media accounts, I would not be writing online and I would still be using two separate email addresses. Therefore, if they did stumble upon any public profiles, there would be nothing for them to “find.”

I have to ask, though, if someone is truly worried about being stalked or about their safety, why would they risk it by publishing online or by writing anything that could possibly identify them?

So, my only advice, based on my experience and background, is if you want to remain anonymous on the internet, it really is possible. Here’s how: NEVER PUBLISH ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET. Is that harsh? Yes, but it’s also true.