Photo by Eugene Kim

Several years ago, I was walking in downtown Houston and someone attempted to steal my purse. A homeless man saw what was happening, ran off the thief and returned my purse. I thanked him, tried to give him the cash I had, but he refused. He told me, “Just be grateful, baby. If you’re grateful, I’ll see you again. Then you can thank me.”

His name was Jules, and I did see him again. I started going by regularly to check on him, give him small items and money. He never expected anything from me and he always just said one thing when I left. “Today is a beautiful day, baby. Pass along the gratitude.”

I once asked him why he was always so cheerful, when he had no money and had to live in the street. He said, “Why not? My happiness isn’t green. It’s the whole rainbow.” I never really understood what he meant, and he never explained it. I can only assume he was finding his own way to repeat the same cliche: Money doesn’t buy happiness.

Jules died from pneumonia about two years ago. One of the things found in his belongings was a journal, with a note on the front page with my contact information, asking that the book be given to me. Jules’ stories and poetry never contained complaints about what he didn’t have or his life on the street. It contained honest and passionate writing from a generous spirit, a person who had nothing, yet still was grateful.

I am very excited to introduce my latest project, inspired by Jules, among others, who continue to inspire me to live in the present and to be grateful for today. The description for this website is Gratitude and mindfulness from lives well-lived. Grateful for TODAY is your daily source of inspiration drawn from the simple — and the now.

“Today is a beautiful day, baby. Pass along the gratitude.”

This year, why not spend a memorable week at home, and save money at the same time? By planning unique, interesting and fun activities for your kids, they will never realize you’re staying home for any other reason than to have fun!

There are many activities and projects that you can do with your children for very little or no cost. Listed below are a few inexpensive, easy and fun suggestions.

1. Make your own paint. All children love to paint, so why not try painting with Kool-Aid? It’s fun, inexpensive, and non-toxic. What’s cooler than painted grapes that smell like grape kool-aid? Instructions here.
2. Edible play-dough. Children love to play with play-dough and it can be made quickly, cheaply, and easily at home. A few recipes are linked here. Edible play-dough is a safe alternative, smells great, and your child will enjoy helping mix it up.
3. Local library. The local library is always a great outing for kids and most libraries plan special activities during school holidays.
4. Local festivals, outdoor concerts, fairs or carnivals. Check with your local Chamber of Commerce (http://www.chamberofcommerce.com/public/index.cfm?) to see if there are any free or low-priced events in your area during the week.
5. A picnic in the park. The city park is an inexpensive way to spend a sunny afternoon, especially if it’s within walking or biking distance from your house. Have your child help you pack a picnic lunch or snacks, and spend an afternoon in the park. If you don’t live near a park, go on a nature walk to see the various signs of spring and how many different types of insects and birds your child can see and identify. Upon returning home, encourage them to draw pictures of what they saw for a permanent memory of your outing.
6. Start a small garden. A lot of people are returning to gardening this year to grow their own food, not only to save money, but to eat locally and healthier. Section off a small area for your children and let them have their own vegetable and flower garden. There’s no better way to help encourage children to try new vegetables than to let them help in the gathering and preparation of the food.
7. Tour a local farm. Not a gardener? Find a local farm in your area and check with them to see if they offer any tours or activities for kids. Local Harvest (http://localharvest.org) is a good resource to locate farms in your area and find out what’s available to you.
8. Nature walks. Go for a walk or bike ride with your children and take a camera or drawing paper. Collect leaves and flowers to take home and press or decoupage.
9. Bird feeders. Welcome the return of the birds by making a bird feeder for the back yard from leftover milk cartons or pine cones dipped in melted peanut butter and bird seed.
10. Edible necklaces. Remember those candy necklaces from your childhood? Make your own with string or yarn and Cheerios or Froot Loops cereal.

For some parents, spring break means additional child care costs because of work, and the guilt of not being able to spend the week at home with their child. Consider finding a teenager in your area to babysit for you. If you don’t know anyone, ask your friends, neighbors or even local teachers to recommend a responsible teenager who would be interested in earning some extra money this spring break.

With a little imagination, there’s no reason why your “vacation at home” this spring break can’t be the most memorable one ever for your kids, who will never remember that you stayed home to save money, but that you had fun and spent quality time together.

So, back to college psychology class. It seemed like everyone in the class had the same goal as me – to learn more about themselves. We did exercises where we sat in small groups and were supposed to share something personal about ourselves. Immediately, members of my group were discussing their parent’s alcoholism, being beaten as a child or some other deep, dark secret. I had to rack my brain for something that I was comfortable sharing and still not sound lame. I finally came up with this jewel: “I once wet my pants in the first grade and had to go home and change and never told anyone.” That was when the class also realized that I was not a sharer, and I learned that psychology and I would not be getting along very well. I also became the person who no one wanted in their group. Since I have an Irish background, I guess I fall into the perfect stereotype of Freud’s supposed quote, “This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.”

When class dismissed, people would leave and continue their discussions outside the classroom, including the confidences that were shared there. No one seemed to respect the privacy of each individual and the information they shared. I watched many people laugh and poke fun at some of my classmates and their problems. I think these experiences in college are where my distrust of therapists began.

When I was ordered to see a therapist by a family law judge during my own custody trial, I’m pretty sure I saw the idea of a therapist as all of those former college classmates who laughed and gossiped about each other and their personal issues. Unfortunately, my experiences did not get better, but I have learned one valuable lesson. Never ignore your instincts, even when a professional makes you feel inadequate or unsure of yourself. The story below was originally written in October, 2007 on lonesophist[dot]com.

I Met Your Mom and Dad the Trees, But Please Don’t Get Dutch Elm Disease

Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I watched some show about child psychologists and some of the things to look out for when choosing a therapist for your child. I was glad to see this advice being given to parents because it seems like all I ever see is someone hastily referring a child to a psychologist or a judge requesting therapy for a child without truly evaluating the situation. I’m not quite sure when this trend started, but I have a newsflash for these people: Not all child psychologists are ethical and competent.

I need to qualify that statement, I guess, with saying that I am sure that there are some really good, really qualified, concerned child psychologists out there. I have just not met them. I have had bad experiences with therapists so I am skeptical. There are circumstances where therapy is necessary, i.e. an abuse situation, but I am only talking about problems facing children that are not life threatening or illegal. Translated: Not all situations are a Dr. Phil show, even though your therapist might think so.

When I was going through all of my various battles with my son’s father, my son saw numerous child psychologists and I never saw anything positive come from it. In fact, there were times it made the situation worse.

This television show was discussing invisible friends, or a child who lives inside his head and creates situations and makes up things. It reminded me of Plank. During my own legal craziness and custody trial, my son saw one particular therapist who always struck me as a little gullible for a professional. My son had found an abandoned square piece of wood in my dad’s shop and drew a face on him and named him “Plank.” Plank was his friend and rode beside him in the car and sat in his room and watched him play. Plank even ate dinner with us occasionally, if he wasn’t busy playing GameCube or watching television.

One weekend, my son left for visitation with his father and told me Plank wanted to go. When he returned home on Sunday night, he told me that Plank was mad because he had spent the weekend in his overnight bag, because his father would not allow him to play with Plank.

The following Monday, I received an urgent telephone call from my son’s therapist. “Please call me immediately, I have something urgent to discuss with you.”

These are words of horror to any mother who is going through a custody trial and is dealing with therapists, judges, lawyers, etc. My mind was racing and my heart was beating and I had an anxiety attack, worried what in the world had happened. Turns out, my son’s stepmother had declared a state of emergency over the Plank situation, and they had raced my son to the therapist on Saturday morning for an emergency session. When the therapist called me back, the conversation went a little like this.

“I’m very concerned about your son,” she told me. “He has invented an imaginary friend named ‘Plank,’ and he carries him around with him everywhere.”

“Yes, I know,” I told her. “Plank even has a face on him, did you see him? He actually did a great job drawing his face on him.”

“Trish, I’m not sure you understand what is going on. When I asked your son if he had any friends besides Plank, he told me NO, Plank is his best friend. I’m very worried that he thinks a piece of wood is his only friend.”

“Well, he’s just playing, I did not see where it was anything to be concerned about.”

*HUGE PAUSE WHILE SHE COMPOSED HERSELF TO DEAL WITH A HORRIBLE MOTHER LIKE ME WHO IS NOT TAKING THIS SITUATION SERIOUSLY ENOUGH*

“Trish, this is very serious. I am going to need to see him twice a week for the next few weeks and I think we need to set up conferences with his teachers and the school to find out what is going on regarding his relationships with other children at the school. I want to find out why he feels the need to make up a friend out of wood.”

*ANOTHER PAUSE WHILE I ROLLED MY EYES AND TRIED TO TAKE HER SERIOUSLY*

She insisted that I come in for an emergency family session so she could counsel me on how to approach this issue with my son and help him realize that Plank was not real and was just a piece of wood. So, I did a little bit of investigative work with my son.

“Hey, I have a question about Plank. Do you really think he’s your only friend?”

“No, he’s not my ONLY friend, he’s just my favorite right now.”

“So you do know that Plank is a piece of wood, right?”

“DUH, Mom, that’s why his name is PLANK.”

OK, I don’t know about you, but I just didn’t get the seriousness of this situation. However I was the one accused by my ex and his wife of being too liberal of a parent and not taking my son’s issues seriously enough. During this state of emergency, I took time out to have lunch with a friend. (See the trend here? I just don’t ever take anything seriously. Horrible mother, HORRIBLE!) I filled her in on the whole Plank issue. She finally said, “Wait a second, isn’t Plank a character on that cartoon, ‘Ed Edd & Eddy? ‘”

Hmmmmmmmmmm . . .

I knew my son watched this show, but I had never stopped long enough to actually pay attention to the show. Therefore, I did a little googling to get more info about this show, and lo and behold, I discovered Plank! After that, I sat down and watched an episode and saw the actual Plank video. An entire video called, “My Best Friend, Plank.” (video below)

I called the therapist to have a little convo.

“Hi, this is Trish. I wanted to talk to you about Plank. Did you know that he is a character on a show on the Cartoon Network?” I asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I did a little research on this Plank issue. Turns out, the kids on this show take a piece of wood and draw a face on it and call it their friend. There’s even a song called, ‘My Best Friend, Plank.’”

She was extremely embarrassed and told me she did not know this, and that she would talk to my son about it, blah blah blah. Surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), the Plank issue was no longer a crisis.

The hard lesson I learned from all of these crazy therapist experiences was that no one knows your child as well as you do, and if someone, including a professional, tells you something that you instinctively and intuitively know isn’t true, believe in yourself and your child. After my whole situation was over and this therapist had completed her “assessments” of everyone’s parenting skills and son’s various “problems,” I learned that this therapist had regretted some of her evaluations and decisions, and she even told me that she had seen a therapist herself to deal with how she had handled our situation.

Yet, even though she still walks free, she will always have to live with the sawdust of Plank on her hands.

Photo from Flickr user Cocomariposa.

Here’s how to get started:

Ingredients:

• Several packs of unsweetened Kool-Aid in various colors
• Paint or sponge brushes
• Water
• Container for paint, i.e. empty egg carton, butter tubs, bowls or plates
• Butcher paper, art paper, or construction paper

1. Pour each packet of kool-aid in a separate container.
2. Slowly mix in small amounts of water until you reach the consistency you want.
3. Start painting.
4. Allow about 20 minutes for the paint to dry. Even if your children stick their fingers in their mouth or get the paint on them, it will just taste sour, but not have any negative effects.
5. Fruit always makes a great subject to paint because once dry, the children can scratch and sniff the pictures and they will smell like the fruit.

Don’t forget that even though it’s non-toxic and a food product, Kool-Aid can still stain furniture or carpet.

Despite the diversity of the identity of single mothers, the media focuses on just a few select groups: teen mothers, welfare or homeless mothers, or women who became single mothers by choice, such as through IVF.

Even today, being a single mother has a lot of stigma attached to it, especially if you are unmarried when your child is born. When I found out that I was pregnant with my son, I had a great job, excellent insurance, lived in a great area, but had a crummy boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if my situation would have been more acceptable if I had married the crummy boyfriend and quit the great job.

I had a very stressful pregnancy. I had preeclampsia and had an emergency C-section. After my son was born, I developed pneumonia. I was alone at the hospital because I thought my son’s father was coming so I didn’t call my parents because I was trying to avoid a confrontation. However, he did not show up. Since no one was there for me at the hospital, my doctor sent social services in to see me. I remember being half asleep in my hospital bed, trying to ignore the pain from the staples in my stomach and the breathing tube in my mouth, and looking up to see a strange woman attempting to talk to me. She told me that she wanted to discuss my options and had some adoption pamphlets for me. I asked her why she was there, because my doctor was well aware of my intentions of keeping my son. She took my hand and told me that it’s very difficult to raise a child alone, and there is no shame in choosing a better life for your child. I won’t go into all the details that occurred after that, but she was definitely convinced of my lack of need for her services. I am sure she had good intentions and was only doing her job, but I wish she had not made so many assumptions.

One of the questions that will get you a No. 1 spot at the top of my “you know what” list is to ask me if I ever look back and wish I would have had an abortion, knowing I would have to raise a child alone. As shocking as that question is to me, it has been asked of me in various forms by 17 different people (yes, I have kept count because it is so appalling and outrageous to ask a mother such a question).

Why do single mothers still face some of these prejudices? Have we evolved yet as a society to truly accept women as being capable of raising a child alone without feeling like she did something wrong?

Having been a victim of words I’ve written online being used against me, I now know that if I write something online, I should be comfortable with anyone reading it, from my first grade teacher and my mother to my ex-boyfriend or my son, with everyone in between. In other words, if you’re going to complain about a co-worker or a family member, I can guarantee you that if they don’t read it themselves, eventually someone you know will read it and pass along that tidbit.

If I send someone an email, I have no assumption that they will keep it confidential and not forward it to someone else, cut and paste part of it or even publish it online. Therefore, why do people think that anything they write online should be private?

Words are hurtful. I don’t believe in the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That’s just not true. I occasionally forget that, myself. In fact, when I first started blogging, I’ve mentioned many times that I was careless and have numerous stories of my words written online coming back to haunt me. I thought I was anonymous and no one in my personal life even knew my blog existed. My son was on a local soccer team and I was one of the team mothers. Another mother on the team was really loud and would stand on the sidelines cheering for the kids, singing songs and running alongside the kids while they played, many times drowning out the coach. She was a distraction and very annoying. All the parents agreed. I wrote about her, making fun of her and that post got a lot of laughs. Guess who read it and brought it up at the next parent meeting? Guess whose blog URL was passed around to all the soccer parents? Was that really the way the team mother should behave? Not really. But how was my post any different from all the other mothers sitting around in person and laughing about her and her overhearing us?

I do understand that people do not want their email addresses published, or their personal information shared without their consent.  However, do you remember phone books? What about real estate transactions? A lot of parents have no problem with pictures of their children being published in the newspaper, or even used in a photographer’s portfolio, yet some parents draw the line at publishing photos of their children online.

I worked in the legal profession for nearly 15 years doing a lot of different kinds of research. I have performed extensive background checks on people and organized background information on many people for various reasons. Even if I found information about someone by searching for them online, I used other means to verify the information. I guarantee you that if you gave me your name and the city in which you live, I could find more information about you outside of social media than by using it.

One of the things recently being complained about was an example of someone who used one email address to email people anonymously and another email address for personal reasons, with the concern being those contacts would show up publicly because one address was forwarded to the other. (I’m not going to link it here.)  As someone who has been through this experience personally, DO NOT FORWARD ONE EMAIL ADDRESS TO ANOTHER. After my custody trial, I created a separate email address to communicate with my son’s father and stepmother, the school, and the court therapist. I logged into that account separately and sent email directly from that account. I never forwarded that email address anywhere and I never downloaded it into another email client. Was that a hassle? Of course. But that was the only way I was 100% sure that those people only had one email address to contact me and that I did not make a mistake when I was in a rush. If that was still going on in my personal life, I would not have any social media accounts, I would not be writing online and I would still be using two separate email addresses. Therefore, if they did stumble upon any public profiles, there would be nothing for them to “find.”

I have to ask, though, if someone is truly worried about being stalked or about their safety, why would they risk it by publishing online or by writing anything that could possibly identify them?

So, my only advice, based on my experience and background, is if you want to remain anonymous on the internet, it really is possible. Here’s how: NEVER PUBLISH ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET. Is that harsh? Yes, but it’s also true.

The problem is, no one can stop it but me. At the start of the new year, I decided to make more of a conscious effort to get rid of those negative feelings, my own negative outlook, and try to make that black cloud hanging over me disappear. I started writing in a journal again, privately, to push myself to put my thoughts on paper and to stop living inside my head with the doubts and fears that continually cry out, “You’re a failure, you’re not capable, you have no skills!” It’s easy to look at that behavior and know it’s wrong and self-destructive, but much more difficult to change.

When I start a new project, I am usually excited, inspired and motivated. However, it’s too easy to let negative comments from people bring me down and the self-doubt starts to appear. No one in my personal life has many nice things to say about someone who isn’t racing to a job for 9-10 hours a day. Many people have told me that the way to overcome feeling down or to get over someone’s death is to get a job that doesn’t give me any time to think or wallow in misery.

When my best friend died, I spoke at her memorial, and wrote a tribute to her. Many people commented to me after the service how touched they were by what I had written, and I had to laugh at the comments. “Trish, you should be a writer.”

Fast forward to a few days ago, when I was contacted by the local library education director, who was looking for someone to teach a class on writing and publishing online, and someone who remembered my speech at the memorial suggested she contact me. Many people here are aware of blogging or keeping an online journal, but don’t know how to get started. She asked if I might be interested in teaching this class once a week, and get a sense for community interest, and possibly help people improve their writing skills.

I was immediately excited by her request, and told her yes, of course, I would enjoy teaching other people about a subject I am so passionate about. The next morning, the doubts and fears started creeping in — What if no one shows up? What if people show up and demand their money back after it sucks so bad? What if . . .

I couldn’t see through the fog enough to think, What if people are able to learn something they wouldn’t otherwise know? The anxiety was incredible. I finally thought, ‘I can’t do this. I’m going to call her and tell her to find someone else and I can just contribute behind the scenes and not deal with people.’

In the middle of this panic and anxiety, I was watching my Twitter feed, and saw the following come across my feed: “4 Tips to Help You Acknowledge Anxiety and Fear.” I clicked over, and read Tammy’s tips for working through the fear, embracing it, and using it to be more successful. I knew all these things. They’re logical, right? But I always forget them when I’m stuck on the escalator to nowhere, with all those negative voices yelling at me along the way.

I sat here, mad at myself for already falling through the rabbit hole of despair, and not being strong enough to keep my goal of thinking positive and believing in myself more. I realized it’s a slow process, and bad habits are really hard to break. But reading about someone else facing the same struggles, working through them and being strong enough to share them and compose such excellent advice for other people made me realize that maybe I could do the same thing for someone else. Maybe someone who signs up for that class could have the same revelation. Or if not, at least I have worked through my own anxiety and panic attack to feel like I’ve moved one more rung up the positive thoughts  ladder.

It doesn’t help my confidence level to the point that the anxiety goes away. But it does feel better that I’ve overcome one hurdle, knowing I’m getting better, and perhaps 2010 really will be the year of positive change.

Photo by Flickr user, mullenkedheim.

Trying to hold steady on the righteous path
80 miles an hour with a worn out map
No time for self-pity or self-righteous crap
Trying to stay focused on the righteous path
(Drive-By Truckers)

Any time I open a newspaper or read the news online, the headlines always include something to do with the current unemployment rate, the economy, or some other crisis that involves money. The experts continue to tell us about it as some sort of reminder, “You’re not worrying enough,” or “Stop spending money.”

I’ve never been an extravagant person or spent an enormous amount of money on unnecessary things. However, I do have days when I worry excessively about not getting by or something unplanned happening that will require an infinite supply of ready cash.

It’s very scary, and many times, if I let myself, I will fill my days with fears of the future, unseen monsters who want to ruin my life and visions of dying in a box on the side of the road, where people walk by, uninterested, and eventually I am taken to the morgue and marked as “Unclaimed Jane Doe No. 5271302.”

It’s outrageous, I know, but it’s fueled by the media, acquaintances, and the current state of the world we live in today. To offset these worries, I see many articles listing things that people can do for entertainment or enjoyment that cost nothing, or very little. Some of the suggestions include things like “Go to a local festival in your area.” Festivals and carnivals are great, and I enjoy them a lot. However, even when admission is free, have you ever gone to a festival and not spent any money? Another suggestion might be to visit the local museum. This is a great suggestion for someone who lives in a larger city. I live in a small town, and going to a museum, which is FREE, requires that we drive 30 miles in the car, find a parking space (which is hardly ever free). If the plan is not to spend money, then that requires plenty of planning to pack snacks or a lunch or leaving in time to make the drive home before anyone gets hungry. This seems extremely stressful and complicated for an outing that was supposed to be free and cost me nothing. My sanity and stress level are worth something, right?

So I’ve been thinking, what about people who truly want to do something that costs NOTHING, or what about someone like me, who doesn’t live near a metropolitan area? Surely I can do things to bring happiness into my life without a lot of effort, time, money, or even leaving my neighborhood?

Yesterday, I was talking to someone who offered me a piece of Wrigley’s Spearmint gum. I almost declined, then changed my mind. As I put the stick of gum in my mouth, I remembered my childhood and my grandmother digging in her purse for a stick of gum to give me and how exciting it always was to taste the sugary gum. The taste of that gum made me happy and made me smile.

That’s when I decided to make my own Spearmint Gum list — My own list of really free things to do that cost me absolutely nothing, but still make me happy and reduce stress. Technically, that pack of gum costs about 50 cents, but I thought I could splurge for such a sentimental memory.

Smile at a stranger. This is probably more common in the south, but we all know that a random act of kindness from a stranger can change the direction of the day. I’ve decided to consciously be that random stranger, instead of always referring to other people who do something that lifts my spirits. Therefore, I plan to remember every day to smile or say hello to one random person I see every day. Smiling costs nothing, and even cheers me up when it’s returned or someone says hello.

Get up 15 minutes early, just for me. This is really not as difficult as it sounds, but I am the worst at hitting the snooze button because I know that I can rush and still make it and get my son out the door for school. However, the times that I wake up early, before the alarm, and spend a few minutes just thinking about the day or enjoying the quiet time, have made a huge difference in my attitude that day. The challenge now is to not turn this into a chore or obligation, but to do it because I enjoy it and it makes me happy.

Eat lunch outside. With spring nearly here, the weather will be mild in Texas and it’s the best time to sit outside and just enjoy the pretty days. Since I work at home, I want to make a commitment to fixing my lunch, taking a break, and enjoying my back yard. This will help me stay on track with my goals of cooking at home and remaining on a practical grocery budget.

Take more photographs. I have a really nice camera that sits in my camera case more than it’s used. I really regret this because I love taking pictures and enjoy the creativity those photos can inspire. Life gets in the way and I find myself making excuses daily as to why I’m not spending more time with my camera. No more excuses. I plan to combine #3 and #4, along with daily neighborhood walks and bike rides, to take pictures, enjoy the outdoors, relax and feel creative.

Smell the lavender. I think smells are important. I love scented candles, essential oils, lotions and herbs. Everyone enjoys the smell of something, and three of my favorite smells are lavender, rosemary and peppermint. When I put lotion on my hands, I can sit there for several minutes just enjoying the fragrance. It’s relaxing.  Fill in the blank with your scent, but stop and smell the lavender.

Photo credits Flickr users: celine nadeau, icools, twoshortplanks, dotbenjamin

“What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them.” –Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the hurricane evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 5, 2005

“Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?” –House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005

So many negative things were said about the people of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. I live in Houston, and was one of the volunteers who worked at the Astrodome with the evacuees, and also helped distribute school supplies that were donated from bloggers all over the country. I never saw anyone who felt “lucky” to be in Houston and felt like leaving New Orleans was some sort of golden opportunity. Most of the children did not view their new experience in a new city and a new school as “kind of fun.” Most evacuees felt lucky to be alive, mourned the loss of their homes, their friends, and sometimes their relatives. They mourned the destruction of their great city, and were desperate to return home. Many waited months for help and some people are still struggling to rebuild.

The things that remained constant among every resident of New Orleans were hope, determination, and a positive attitude.

Stated very simply: I love New Orleans. The history, culture, and love that resonates from that city is remarkable. No one is a stranger and everyone there takes the term “southern hospitality” to a new level. Every time I visit, I feel like I leave a piece of my heart behind when I leave. We have spent the last three Thanksgiving vacations there, and I’m happy to see that my son loves the city as much as I do. He always comments when we’re there, “The people are just so friendly and nice here.”

New Orleans has always been known for parties, and especially Mardi Gras. After last night, they’re also known for football, and for dedicated, loyal fans who never give up. It was interesting to see the topics on Twitter over the past several weeks during the football playoffs. When New Orleans played Minnesota, the trending topics on Twitter were Brett Favre, Minnesota, Vikings, etc.  New Orleans Saints never trended during the entire game. The Saints were predicted to lose and as we all know, they didn’t. The Saints were predicted to lose the Super Bowl and as we all know, THEY DIDN’T.

This win meant more to the city of New Orleans. The Super Bowl win of the New Orleans Saints is more than a football game victory. It is a representation, once again, to the rest of the country and the world that the people of New Orleans are not defeated, never have been, and never will be. The City of New Orleans is proud, strong, and true to its heritage, its roots and its people.

So, imagine my surprise to see this post retweeted over and over last night on Twitter.

I have never seen any resident of New Orleans claiming their city represented defeat and vulnerability. Anyone who returned to New Orleans after Katrina represents the exact opposite of defeat and vulnerability. Anyone who supports a football team to manic proportions, despite the national media calling them the “Aints” do not represent defeat.

I doubt the original author of that tweet mean anything negative towards the residents of New Orleans. However, it does show the ongoing and underlying attitude that so many people have had towards this city since Katrina. Sure, it’s ok to visit Bourbon Street and party during Mardi Gras or the Jazz Festival, but most people return home, go back to their daily lives, and forget about the inspiration of this magnificent city and its people.

“We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn’t do it, but God did.” –Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal

Well, New Orleans is still here. And still standing tall. Still rebuilding, and getting stronger every day. I’m hoping what the author meant, and what most people like me feel, is that we’re all glad that New Orleans is receiving international attention, but this time, it’s all positive. WHO DAT?  NOBODY!

I want to start this again, but this time, my goal is to see if we can cook and eat at home for $50 a week. With a bit of organization and planning, I think I can whittle the grocery bill down to this amount. I have always given myself a mental free pass if I have a meeting that involves a meal or I have some other plans or scheduled event that involves eating out. The goal was not to deny myself anything, but to make more of an effort to think about the money I spend and the quality of the food we eat, and to reduce stress (What’s for dinner? I’m starving, when are we eating?)

I see many helpful articles on eating healthier and cheaper, with some of them actually documenting the costs of each meal. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of recipes assume that you have specific things already, so it is not figured into the cost. If a recipe calls for a cup of flour and I happen to have some in my pantry, then that recipe costs me nothing extra to add the flour. However, if I’m out of flour and I have to buy a new bag of flour for $5, then the cost of that meal just increased. It breaks down to the same amount spent, but that makes a difference when you have a specific grocery budget and don’t want to immediately spend that extra $5 on flour. My goal is to be able to plan my menu so that I don’t have to rely on having things around, but to buy everything I need for the week on Sunday, and only return to the grocery store for milk, if necessary, and eventually do all that for around $50.

So basically, my goals to achieve this are:

1. Create a weekly grocery list and menu;
2. Cook two meals on the weekend to freeze to lessen the urge to get takeout or fast food when stressed;
3. Bake at least once a week (even if it’s the breadmaker);
4. Maintain the herb garden.
5. Track the costs to see how close I can eventually get to $50.
6. Consistently document the results.